Letting go

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It has been quite some time now that i wrote something. Life has just been chaotic the past few weeks. Days that aren’t my favorite kind and emotions i try to block, so hard that you forget what is actually happening around you. But in order to move on, you have got to let go what is behind you. And there lies my biggest problem. I don’t let go of any emotions at all. If you do me wrong once, i don’t forget. It might fade away to the back of my mind but it is still there. And still, there is one person i just can not forget, so it seems. And it is starting to annoy me, why do i keep roaming around in the past? Why is it that difficult? 

Prisje

Today was a very difficult day for me. We buried the girlfriend of a dear colleague of mine. She lost her fight against leukemia after 2 years of struggling. I only met her once or twice at the yearly barbecue at work, but you could really see that that girl had spice in her. A fighter. A very sweet and honest girl. I heard many stories about her in the office and in the lab when Joris and i where there the whole day. The guy just could not stop talking about her. Never gave the impression of giving up. For a 22 year old male person, that is not a simple task to fulfill. But he never once did back down. He never gave up hope. He never complained. I can not begin to tell you how much i respect him in every way. As i am writing this , her picture is next to me. And in some strange way it gives me hope for everything that is to come. Because if there is one thing that i have learned from this, it is that you have to follow your heart, you have to do instead of plan, you have to shout instead of whisper and you have to be who you are. No regrets, no mistakes and for sure a whole lot of being. And i will make all of the above happen, but today…? Today is just a sad day. 

The green grass of home

My mind is full with ideas, stuff i want to do before i am 30, stuff i want to do now, stuff i never want to do again. All spinning around in that upper chamber of mine. The past few weeks have been exhausting because of that crazyness , but now i am trying to fix everything. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Moving is the most time consuming thing now for me. The last year and a half i found out i am a garden person and that is directly the main problem with were i live now. No garden, no grass, not even a little freakin’ balcony. So time to MOVE! But then all these questions pop up : do i live alone, do i try to move in with people who share there house with others or back home (hahaha just kidding, no offence mom and dad, love you very very much but living together, yeah we are over that)? I think i will go with the second option, price-wise and you never know with what cute guy you might end up with (a girl can dream, no?) So i have planned appointments next week and we will see what comes out of it. All very exciting for me….

Closing time

Spring is in town, you can feel it everywhere. Everybody is laughing and eating ice-cream. And finally i have the feeling of ‘closing time’. I can understand that you have a difficult time wrapping your head around it. But let me try to explain to you what, why and where. The last two years have been a rollercoster of emotions, i have been trough every possible state a human being could possibly go trough. If someone would have asked me where i would be or what i would be doing at the age of 25, i would never give you the life i lead now as an answer. Not that i am not happy now, i just never expected it to be this way. It is weird how everything can change so fast , so extreme. I think, now, i just stopped regretting the how and why part. It is not in the books for me to get an answer, so why keep trying? Maybe just let go and try something (or someone) new, no?

And with spring in town, everything seems brighter, lighter and just more fun. So let's just enjoy....

S.O.A

Hooked. Hooked i tell you! That is what i am. Sons of anarchy, my newest addiction. Describtion? It is the sopranos but with a lot of leather, motorcylcles and tattoos. Just the way i like it. One look at jax (played by charlie hunnam) and you will understand, at least if you have boobs. But also katey sagal (yes indeed, mrs. bundy) has a prominent role in the show as a flipped out, crazy rageness, anger issued mom. I promise you. You will not regret starting to watch this serie, only the people you will stop seeing because of it. (photos thanks to www.listal.com)

Nananananana

Can you feel it coming? It is really in the air. Spring. Sun. ‘Terraskes’ (sorry for the non-Belgian people, but let me tell you, you are missing an important concept in your life!). It only takes a peep outside and you know it.

Do it. Take a look outside and tell me how you feel. Do you feel it? Do you? 

Celebrate good times, come on!

What an amazing weekend it was! First of all, i want to thank everybody who was a part of it. The good kick-off was given on Friday evening with all my girlfriends. Man, those girls can party. There were so many moments in the evening that i just fell in love with them all over again. That is the reason why you can call me a friends-person, thank you very much. And then i did not even mention the gift they got me! The limited edition of the style scrapbook from Kipling, a beautiful black leather camerabag. It was love at first sight. It is officially fixed to my shoulder, never taken it of again!

Saturday was , what i would like to call, a hangoverday. Me and my couch, all day long. That couch, we spent some nice times together allready. And then arrived Sunday, THE day to celebrate. And how the gods loved me yesterday. First springday of the year. We sat outside (not behind glass, really as in ‘you take a chair and put it in your garden and ow yeah don’t forget your sunglasses-weather’)! That combined with a good chocolatecake , homemade by daddy dearest. You can amaging, for me it could not get better than that.

But, today is a new day at work and i am still a bit recovering from everything. But i could not have asked for a better weekend. If my 25th year of life is equally good, then i can not wait for tomorrow or the next months to come….